How to Text a Lady: Texting Etiquette (2022)

Even with the presence of phones and the internet we all know it’s not easy to get a girl’s phone number. Especially if it’s a girl you like. It’s one thing to get her digits it’s another thing to try create chemistry with her through the phone.

And the question most men ask is “how do you create chemistry with a girl that’s not responding your texts or chats?” We all know this is impossible.

Ok! I will not say we all because only guys who have experienced this will understand what I’m saying here. This can literally make a man go nuts. I remember the first time it happened to me. I asked myself 100 questions in 5 minutes. Yeah, it sounds a bit funny but it’s true. I asked myself questions like:

Is she not into me like I am into her? Is it because I’m dark? Am I too dark? Does she really like me? Was my message too long? Did I send it at the wrong time? Or is it the way I composed it? Is she playing me to see if I’m persistent? What could be wrong? Damn it… what’s wrong? Is it that she doesn’t like tall guys? And so on…

These were the stupid questions I asked myself then. Permit me to call them stupid because that’s what they really are. STUPID QUESTIONS!

I bet you’re experiencing this now and you are wondering what really happened. You’ll like to know how girls think. Well, after asking 5 girls these were the answers they gave me.

But first off, before we start, I’ll like to plead that you should please take all I’m about to tell you with ease. Some of these words might sound harsh and some might sound rude to you but it’s the way it is. I don’t want to mince words together that’s why I’m doing this.

Be at ease with me and don’t get all defensive on me. We are all here to learn. I just need you to work on areas you feel need to be worked on just like I did during my time.

Now, if you’ll pardon me, I’ll say part of the reason she is not calling or texting you back is your fault. It’s 70% your fault, 20% her fault and 10% nature’s fault. Don’t worry I’ll explain further just in case you sound lost.

You see when I say it’s 70% your fault, it’s based on what you did or what you shouldn’t have done. 20% her fault because she just could see the fact that so attractive and 10% nature’s fault because nature doesn’t want you guys to be together. You guys try to make everything work, you text her, she texts you but it’s not just working.

Now that we’ll have established this, let’s quickly run through 20% her fault why she is not texting you back:

  1. She’s not texting you back because you’re just not her type and she doesn’t know how to tell you.
  2. She’s not texting you back because you don’t have what she wants (money, luxury apartments, cars)
  3. She’s not texting because she’s looking at where this will end to.
  4. She’s texting back because she is extremely busy.
  5. She’s not texting you back because she’s just too lazy to reply.

What other reason have I left out?

Please note there are many more reason asides from these ones. The fact that I didn’t mention them doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Every reason is unique to every girl.

Now let’s go to the 70% on why it’s your fault – answers from 5 ladies.

Table of Contents

How to Text Women for Date

Here’s how to text a woman to date you.

1. Stop using Shorthand

I would say I myself realized this late although I’ve stopped it when I realized it’s not good to use it at all. Writing words like “U” instead of “You”, “nite” instead of “night”, “b4” instead of “before” can really frustrating to a girl you’re trying to impress.

It’s like been given an opportunity to talk with the queen and you’re speaking in pidgin. You’ve ruined your chances and if it were those days offending the queen calls for a death penalty, you might lose your head.

Most ladies don’t understand shorthand and those who do don’t understand it’s nitty-gritty. They just find their way around it so imagine you’re sending her a message for the first time and you’re sending this.

“Helo! Au ws ya dai? I jst wanna say hi.” You’ve ended the game even before it started.

2. Avoid Lengthy Text

Yes, I also made this mistake in the past. Well, according to a friend she said this pisses her off. Explaining further she said there’s a reason it’s called SMS – short messages, not LMS – long messages.

And yeah she was right. If girls really want to read long text they’ll read something else maybe novels, not your text. So stop this if you’re doing this now. If you say it’s impossible to make your text short. I’ll say it sounds impossible to you but it’s not.

Let me give you samples:

Your text: Hey, What’s up! How are you doing today? I have tried your number since the day I got it from you but it’s not going through.  Well, I just want to say hi and to thank you for showing me how great it is to have fun. Good night and sleep tight! Will text or call you tomorrow morning.

My text: Hey, What’s up! How are you doing today? Tried your number yesterday. Just want to say hi and thanks for yesterday’s fun. Good night! Can you see there’s a huge difference in the word count?

3. Compose a Proper Text

Yes, unfortunately, this is very true about most guys. Some of us really need to go to text school if schools like this exist to learn how to compose a proper text. For all, you know this could be the reason why she is not texting you back.

You’re supposed to electrify her with your messages not irritate her. I can’t say much about this. Practice if you need to and meet men who are good at this to make finishing touches to what you have learnt. When you’re done you’ll be a text magnet.

4. Read in Between the Lines

That’s what girl number 4 said. Saying it in her own words she said “men are too dumb a times to read in between the lines. The only time they wake is when you insult them.”

Another reason she is not texting you back is that she is not feeling you and you’re not stopping. I know it’s impossible to know if she really likes you especially because you’re just meeting her but if you’ve have been texting for quite some time now and she is not been responding, you need to stop. It could be a sign she’s not interested.

It’s better to stop now before she turns on you like a wounded lioness.

5. You stalk her with your texts

I get it. You’re super excited you’ve found the perfect girl and you just want to spoil her with your love but bombarding her with your text is stupid. Let me rephrase that – makes you look stupid.

It may look like you’re doing this because you love her but from the way she sees it, it looks like you’re a jerk who is trying to take the opportunity. Ok, if you’re still finding this confusing… How will it look if a girl you just met today sent you 15 random texts on how she likes you?

I know you’re super excited you met her but does she feel the same way? Even if she does, she needs time to take it all in. Yes, women need time. She needs time and her space and this includes the amounts of text you send to her phone daily.


Don’t be moved by emotions. Control your urge no matter how pushed to send a text. Find something else going. Play a game, write, sketch something, or chat with friends. Keep yourself busy after all; you had a life before she came. Take it one step at a time and she’ll finally fall into your arms.


Meeting women and texting them is not a do or die affair. Don’t kill yourself when girls don’t respond the way you want them to. For all you know it might not be your fault.

Work on yourself and enjoy your single life. If you missed an opportunity with a girl because of a stupid mistake, move on. If she’s yours she’ll overlook them.

Once again enjoy yourself. Enjoy life. What do you think about this post? What’s missing? Please comment below.

Image Credits to: Rafael Barros/

About admin

Hi! I'm Ralph Bamigboye! Accountant, Teacher, Writer, and Blogger. I self-funded and started my professional cleaning business in Nigeria. I'm passionate about Nigerian youths (Men in particular) and how they can succeed. How can I make your life better?
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